January 17, 2009
Beit Daniel Synagogue, located near Hayarkon, celebrated the bar mitzvah of Itai with his family. I arrived at about 9:40, as psukei was concluding. As an usher handed me a siddur, he made what must be a universal motion by putting his hand to his ear, appearing to hold a phone. When I said it was off, he picked up on the English and offered a siddur in English. The congregation is a member of the reform movement, but much of the text resembled Eit Ratzon. There were about 40 people in attendance, most of them family members, including four grandparents. There was a troop of about 10 boys, friends of Itai; the rabbi spent a fair amount of time cajoling them to be attentive. The dress was casual. The bar mitzvah boy wore jeans and running shoes, as did most of his friends. The cantor, dressed in a suit, tie, and tallit, drives the service at a lively pace with his booming voice. As we concluded the sh’ma, the gabbai, a woman probably in her 50s, approached me with an invitation to have an aliyah. Well into the amidah, I had a moment of panic that perhaps this aliyah meant that I was supposed to read, not just bless! My anxiety increased when it came time for the first aliyah, because I saw two gabbais and the two women called for an aliyah. It turned out, however, that not only was the second gabbai the reader, but also she read from the chumash, with those having an aliyah pointing at the scroll. Interestingly, neither the rabbi nor the cantor were in the sanctuary for the Torah service. The two women called for the first aliyah spoke briefly about the history of the scroll, because they were responsible for donating it to the synagogue. The scroll had been saved from the Holocaust and had spent time in various houses of worship, but the family was not happy with the care it was receiving. Upon joining Beit Daniel they decided that this would be a good home for it. Before the first aliyah, we said a shehechiyenu to mark the occasion. I had the honor of aliyah sheini and then pointed as the portion from Sh’mot was read. It appears that they are on the triennial cycle, because they did not begin at the beginning of this book. Aliyah’s were had by the maternal grandparents, paternal grandparents, and the seventh by Itai’s parents. The rabbi and cantor returned for the maftir, read by Itai. I think that in the U.S. we have the feeling that the awkwardness expressed by b’nei mitzvah is mainly a function of the use of Hebrew. Here, clearly this was not a variable, so the shyness and awkwardness of the bar mitzvah was notable. It’s an early adolescent issue that seems cross-cultural. Candy was distributed as Itai chanted the haftorah. The rabbi made a point of approaching the boys and sternly warning them about how to toss the candy or at least that is what he seemed to be saying! The candy rained after the portion, as did applause at the urging of the rabbi. Applause followed Itai’s speech. Applause followed the speech by his mother, by his maternal grandmother, and his paternal grandfather! Following adon olam, we adjourned to the lobby for a Kiddush with wine, challah, and cakes. There the second gabbai warmly greeted me. Ricki Levy, probably in her late sixties, with short,cropped grey hair and wire glasses, is from Holland. She serves many roles in the synagogue on the spiritual and technical side. I asked about reading from the chumash and she noted that many rabbis do that as well, which certainly surprised me. I told her a little about the Kehillah and she asked if we had many mixed couples. She noted that in Israel with the Russian migration, there are many mixed couples as well, an issue that seems to be a challenge. She said the same was true in Holland, where her family had lived for many generations.
It is striking how this shared ritual of the service crosses cultures and political boundaries. The structure of the service was similar to Ait Ratzon or Sim Shalom. The melodies were reminiscent of those we use in the Kehillah. Even the somewhat informal milieu seemed to reflect a Shabbat morning in Chapel Hill.